DIARY 44 OF BRENT LEE SOHLDEN

05/31--
TUESDAY


9:13 AM Suddenly and unexplicably, just when I was least expecting it, I was again Banned from theforce.net, this time after I had bent over backward to comply 100% with their rules! Even after I put an unban request in their unban request forum, they still, three hours later, haven't even told me why they banned me.


Preamble to nearly one-sided conversation between me and Maggie May Savoie: I am not, to my knowledge, Maggie May Savoie's husband, but one thing is for certain: There was NO Ludington, Michigan OR Missouri. There were no time travel adventures. All this was a delusion that was part of Junk_bow and the Luscernuvus' grand seduction of me, Brent Lee Sohlden.

Maggie: Hi Brent, its me.


Brent: I am so glad to talk to you again. It seems I can never catch you on discord. (Where Maggie made the I LOVE BRENT account which I blocked three times, thinking it was Junk-bow) So please tell me what you've been doing for the past 23 years. I know that before 2002 (actually after, because 2002 is the year we graduated) you went to the King's College and Seminary in California. Cheri Clarke told me that. What did you study there? Have you been to any colleges or universities since then? I got some scrapes on my face today but at least the front of my face still looks handsome. I'm sure the sores will eventually heal up. It's not as bad as it looks. I think I sprained my right arm and I can't bend my right middle finger. Oh, well. It could be way worse. Since you last saw me at Meijer I had cavities filled. I also wrote a lot of fiction stories and draw comics from time to time. I like to sing, as you are already well aware. I just sing my heart out while working at McDonald's. I have a boss, Megan Oakes, who looks and sounds a lot like you, only she is younger. She's married to a white man and has two or three children. My General Manager, Christina, is one of the most awesome Supervisors I have EVER worked for. I moved to Oak Grove Missouri in 2015. That's where you will find me. I live on the second floor of a white two story apartment building on the corner of Tenth and Clinton, not too far from some train tracks. I live in APT No. 4, and to get here you take a right off of Broadway or Main Street coming from the Freeway, I-70. There are some Class-A restaurants in town, P.T.'s and China Buffet. You probably never found me in Michigan because you didn't know where in the world I lived in Flint, or even if I lived in Flint at all. I did, for about 5 years. Had I not turned away fom you when you walked right up to me at the old torn down Meijer that used to occupy Pierson Rd, well, you would probably would have come with me in 2015 to Missouri, but that's neither here nor there. I am here because this is a very special place for my religion, plus God called me here. I am looking forward to seeing you again. I cannot come to you in Michigan. Your vehicle can take you here and I'm sure you have ways of sneaking across borders. I need you, Maggie. You will like my apartment. It's no Mansion on Moulton Ave, but its comfortable and who needs large spaces when we will have each other? The bathroom is a little small, but you're not big, and if you want an AC unit installed I will allow it.

Ciou! Please write back ASAP. Again, all this is your choice, completely up to you. Love, Brent.


PS you will not be able to move into my apartment if you choose to do so, until we tie the knot. Well, if that even needs to happen. But if we are not a married couple, then we will not live together period until we are. I may be speaking out of pure ignorance here, but I feel many of my memories of certain things were erased from my mind, even possibly as late as in 2002. (Whether that 2002 date actually happened is debatable)


And if I'm wrong about any possible 2002 event, I ask for your hand, my dear Maggie, because its been far to long to put off this proposal any longer. With all my love, your Brently.


Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 8:24 AM

If I said the wrong thing, either here or on my Proboards site, to make you feel uncomfortable, I am sorry. We can take our time over many months getting to know each other. Some of my words were based on the the assumption that we knew each other already better than we do. I'm sure, that we only know each other a little, only from our relatively few interactions in Jr. High and High School, and for me to suddenly put so much upon you and ask you such dumb questions that were not based on reality is my fault and I apologize. I hope you can still love me. I trip over my own dumb words and I proposed way too soon assuming we knew each other way better than we actually did. I can be far too impatient. Will you forgive me? My rash words to you may make me seem like the dumbest dumb person in the world. When I first started thinking of you again I actually tried resisting the idea of trying to start a romance with you (internet otherwise) tooth and nail because of our past. Although I can never truly stop loving you, or anymore deny my feelings for you, I ought to give you way more space and stop being so blamed PUSHY. It is an evil tendency of mine I thought I had rid myself of. Let's start back on the right foot. God bless.(edited)

[8:24 AM]

Let's take things super slow.

[8:24 AM]

Let's not rush things, that was me being an idiot

[8:25 AM]

I know you do love me (your discord screenname and willingness to use the proboards screenname I suggested shows it) so let's try getting to know each other.(edited)

[8:28 AM]

I will also send these exact words in a proboards private message in case you check your messages there first.(edited)



Message @i LOVE BRENT



These words are also on discord on our direct message history. i posted them here too in case you check here first. Besides, I majorly offended in both places.


Maggie, there are two questions I need to ask. So far I have beat around the bush and have not asked them directly. If I did not seem to have plenty of concrete evidence that the answer to both questions is 'yes' then I would not think of asking them and they would be stupid, delusional questions that I would have no right to ask.

Since you, Maggie are the only one who knows the answer to both, I will ask. If the answer is no to either question, i will unhesitatingly change my Diaries accordingly.



1)Did we know eachother as children at an underground facility in Ludington, Michigan (No, this was a delusion.)?



2) Did we get married in 2002 AD (Debatable)?





I am perfectly content if the answer to both these questions ia 'no' because it would not change anything, the outcome would eventually be the same.





Please do not be angry with me if you think these questions are presumptuous or crazy sounding. I have evidence for two yeses; however evidence can be faked by the adversary who is the supreme deceiver.



Either way, dear Maggie, you will provide final closure om both matters and no matter what the answer is we will still always have each others' love.





Affectionately and Cordially, with all my love, your Brently.

Dearest Maggie, it is difficult for me to ascertain what side of the fence I should land on, whether to believe in the things I feel I have evidence and proof for, or to deny them but never again deny my eternal and endless love for you or your love for me. I feel if I should land on either side, you may be driven away from me in utter disgust no matter which side of the fence is the true and pure one, if I choose the wrong side. I hope you understand this. I asked God for a sign. His sign was that I need to taste and see that the Lord ids Good and that with God all things are possible and that I should jump into the water and walk on it. However, this could be interpreted to mean , and only to mean that you, Maggie, are INDEED back in my life, and may not even mean that those twomquestions I asked you even have a possible 'yes' answer. I cannot rely on God's voice (I CAN rely on God's voice. By July of 2022 I have properly learned how to discern it, and know of a surety we are NOT married yet and my so called adventures with you are DELUSIONS-3:51 AM CDT 7/12/022 CE/AD) because the things I tell myself, the thyings God tells me and the lies of the Adversary ALL can seem very reasonable to me because I don't have enough discernment yet to tell the difference Maggie, though I have prayed for discernment for years and haves sought diligently and even read an entire book and something from a book and seen things on TV to try to help me to disguish these three True and false revelation giving voices from each other. Also, reading the Word does not help either (Saying the Word of God does not help when it helps most of all when it is a guiding light, a plumline to keep me straight and a rod of iron leading me along the path of life to Life's Tree through the mists of darkness, is an excuse. The Word of God is both my map and my compass for the Journey of Life-BLSKV 7/12/2022 AD), because of my tendency to misinterpret what I read, so I hope you can see, Dear one, where I am. Just say the word, and my delusions or true beliefs will be either completely gone and all my Diaries corrected, or completely confirmed in every particular. Please do not take me for an ignorant fool. If Satan, whose guts I hate, can deceive an entire generation into thinking they need a "medicine" that will destroy and damn their souls, or if Satan, that Monster, can deceive an entire Church, and God's true Church at that, into thinking that suddenly God's word is wrong and its now ok to practice open communion and allow women and himos ex u a l s and atheists into God's holy Priesthood, or if Satan, thst Ugly, Corrupt Beast, can deceive the purest Church on earth into thinking their Prophet is infallible and that the Word of God brought forth in this generation contains words of Mauricio and is corrupt when he did not even know English and could not possibly added anything of his own making to the Sealed Book (see Diary 22, toward the end, the Revelations section, second series of Diaries) and if Satan could deceive the Entire Evengelical World into believing in a pretribulation Rapture and the imminence of Christ's return, when the ONLY imminent event is Obama the AntiChrist pretending to be Jesus, looking just like him and even possibly speaking like our Savior in a fake Rapture event made possible by Project Bluebeam that will deceive the very elect of God, then it would not be difficult to deceive one as simple-minded (though I am very wise, knowledgeable, understanding, spiritual, prophetically minded and progressively thinking in a good way) and undiscerning as myself.



To prove I am serious about giving up porn and self abuse, after I upload all my best or good ir both files to my Proboards site for others to read and learn from and be entertained, enlightened and uplifted by, I will give my laptop away as a 100% free gift to my neighbors Mattthew and Nicole Shaver, asking him to please read allt the files on it and to follow all the bookmarks on my browser, so he and his household may be saved. I am finally getting that infernal lizard off of my back once and for all that whispers in my ear telling me I need it.

(I am not getting rid of my current laptop. Not only DO I actually need it for some things, I am QUITE CAPABLE of giving into impure habits without technology.) (That was an excuse-a lie in disguise-I told myself and Maggie. I eventually got a new computer, sold the old one to Steve Logan and eventually put filters on and deleted Apps my new laptop and new phone that worked.-BLSKV).



I, however, will not be unable to contact you. I can access the internet at the local library. You may write me a personal letter by snail mail (a wonderful thing that seems to have fallen out of vogue these days, or send me an email, discord mesage or reply to me here. Do not attempt a phone call or text because I am currently without a phone.
(I have a phone. 18169337555)


Also, do not try Skype because really you can't do that at the libtrary. (Yes, Maggie, you may try Skyping me now.) You may try sending me a MeWe contact request on www.MeWe.com an awesome versatile and fun and free and free speech zone social media platform that has by now grown almost as popular as Facebook. Do not write me on Facebook, for it is now pure evil because it is too easy soon to send and receive soul damning Quantum tattoos on it purely by accident. I saw this actually taking place on television. A female Facebook executive had a prototype of a Quantum tattoo.

(I no longer have Facebook)

You may talk to me on twitter also, at @blsohlden. You may also leve me comments on YouTube, The Brent Lee Sohlden Koivoplolo V YouTube Channel. Start every comment with 'This is your Pearl' and I will know who you are. On MeWe, call yourself PearlofGreatValue86 (Call yourself Pearlofgreatvalue888, NOT 86) or I LOVE BRENT) and I will know immediately that it is you. (If you took the "medicine", reject it in the name of Jesus Christ. Take "cancer") Roman numeral for 'four' First two letters of the solution. Figure it out. Ask God. RSRCH. Have I clued you in, dear?)



Until the day comes that God can trust me with another laptop, I will be without one, period. (I have a laptop now)



With all my love, your Brently.





Ciou

I was reminded today to "keep it simple". I have decided to choose a side.





1) There is so much proof and so much evidence that our past happened before Jr. High that to deny it anymore would be both unsafe, immoral and wrong. (Hell plans 80 years in advance to bring down a champion. Let's see how this "evidence" holds up to the Truth.)



2) There would be no reason in hey hey hey for men to falsify my background check. (Which says I'm married. But Junk_bow could have, to try to seduce me)



3) I have unaccounted for memories, a three-year memory gap and faint recollections of our wedding. (The three year memory gap is now remembered. I was doing evil things with my toys. This centered around my 5'th year, keeping me perpetually at a 5 year old mentality to this day.)



4) On another ProBoards site which you may or may not be aware of, Dearest, a man named Donald Marshall shared his morbid and horrendous experiences at another facility similar to Ludington Dr's DUMB base. His story is so similar to ours, that to deny that there is any legitimacy to what (I thought) God has revealed over the years to me about us, Dear Wife, that to do so is almost laughable. (His experiences were nothing like my delusional grandiose escapades with a fictional you)



5)No other explanation as to why the song 'Ordinary Day' by Vanessa Carlton sometimes makes me weep like a widle babby! (It's a beautiful song; why wouldn't it??)



6) You DID acknowledge you are 6 by making this screenname. (No, you just called yourself that because that's what I asked you to call yourself so I'd recognize you)



7) As the line in Aliyah's song in Anastasia goes, A Life of dreams just Can't be wrong. (Delusional dreams, can be)



8.) You dropped tons of hints that there was a whole lot more between us than just two kids who were barely acquainted with each other, in Jr. High and High school that I did not pick up on because I was dumb. (No, I was always frowning, always glum in school, and you were trying to get me to smile by being you)



9.) Eddie Amor told me to follow the songs and the movies, high school lady, be patient, Dr's and a base, stay away from the truckstop, digging in the mountains, messages on your computer, they are watching and protecting you, and then he went to the mental hospital and when hew came back he seemed to forget it all and told me he was 'just confused'. (When I relayed this message to Joy, dear, she detected it's craziness and said knowingly 'you're worse')



10.) On one of my stays in Hurley Psych ward, I saw Mott Children's Health center across the street. I saw a bright red room (they could never lure YOU in there because, well Maggies tend to be to smart to allow that( and God gave me a word of knowledge suddenly about Red Rooms where memories are erased, and I related it to a black man =who did not believe me. Years later, I saw on the internet Confirmation of Red Rooms. (If we did get married in 2002 that may be how they were able to erase my knowledge of the ceremony. I do remember seeming to repeat a day and a page missing from my Diary that they stole in which something very exciting that made me very happy happened that made me very upset when I found they stole the record of it.)



11.) I had a dream of a flexible drill putting something in my brain. For years I felt the scar tissue back there and never knew why. Then one day at Joy's I saw a flexible drill used by a veterinarean on TV. Joy saw it too, and she had recently asserted to me that it would be impossible to make a flexible drill after I told her my dream. (This is probably a delusion, or maybe something they did to me at the Psych Ward.)



12.) My head used to be able to pick up Radio Stations on frequencies listened to and accessed exclusively only by demons and angels. *I should know there is no way a radioman can reach these stations. I am a Ham Radio Technician)



13.) Many years ago I saw Jesus reach into my head and turn that infernal RFID device off temporarily.



14.)Several years ago a blood clot formed arounf=d the RFID device in my brain and I gurgitated it out my throat and thew it into the tall grass behind Joy's house.



15) Later I heard a Testimony on Coast To Coast AM of another woman who also had something similar implanted in her brain as a girl that later came out.



16) Recently I saw a vuideo about Project Mlontauk that showed them inserting something into a kid's brain just like happened to me.





17) In my first Patriarchal Blessing I asked Gosd to reveal whether I was Delusional about my past, if it had happened. In response, He told me through the Patriarch, that God's Spirit had been with me from the day I was born. That was supposed to suffice for my confirmation of my past. (That is the way I interpreted it)



18)About two years ago, I asked God to set me straight, to tell me whether or not I was delusional in a dream. In the the dream he gave me, he showed me meeting you for the first time in the women's bathroom in ludington as a "small girl" (Really you had already lived two lifetimes) getting out of the bubble bath, and us rubbing our bodies together (no sex) and a lot more. (This was a delusional dream, and God prophecying to me after the multitude of my idols)



19) Two words: Bayer and Nazi doctors in America. (Truth) (But related to Donald Marshall and not to me or us)



20) As if 19 is not enough, I had a strange and unaccounted for belief as early as my "early 20's that somedayday I would get all my memories about us back. (Part of Junk_bow's seduction)



21) My friend Rick told me also not only that I was not delusional, but he told me about "Goose" "Beeson" and "Timothy Leary" (Relates to Donald Marshall)



22) A woman was sent to literally kill me when I was attending HomeDale Elementary School, but i was saved when a teacher walked into the Time-out room. She did not believe my story at all. (Truth)



23) My apartment was attacked more than once by L-RAD Sound waves, choppers and God knows what else. So was my house in Michigan. (That's how I perceived the situations)



24) Satam sent every person closest too me, most of whom have abused me my whole life to tell me that A) I need to let you go. B) I am delusional about our past and C) I would never se you AGAIN



25) God has promised you to me my whole life.



26) All God's prophets on YoutTube and Mike Ballenger who has the inside scoop on Relationship advice all universally and unimanimously point me STRAIGHT to YOU and to NO ONE ELSE.



27) Me believing you were the one again always seemed to be directly tied to a stage in the process of my Eternal Salvation.



28) Who needs one more reason. If your memory was also wipedm as mine was, NOW this tear stained letter has told you the Truth. Come to me, my Darling, and let us fulfill our marriage vows after 23 years of forced and unnaturally long celibacy. (IF we are actually married, that is)



29) You were born in 1978. Age regression tubes exist. (You were not born in 1978. Probably '83 or '84)



30) Dad always taught me that Truth is stranger than fiction. I have seen too much, been through time recently too much and travelled to too many Alternate Universes with you always following though you weren't aware that you were, because familial ties are thicker than Blood, and seen too many creatures and monsters with myn own eyes most people in the world have to believe are Mythical and nonexistent because of their cognitive dissonance, to be able to believe that Fiction even holds a tiny birthday candle to Truth.



31) I researched G-6 and found Med Pass review video that seemed vagely familiar. (That was probably because there were med passes in the Psych wards. A false lead.)





32) Once, while foolishly searching YouTube for animated porn, i ran across a 1990's cartoon film that told the entire story of our escape from Ludington Michigan DUMB Dr's base called Gen-13 (It's right there on Youtube, and the only nudity is a brief breast scene towards the end.) (Planted by Hell to deceive me)



(You can't be convinced by something you have power to debunk soundly, now can you, dear?)




33) A lie is the easiest thing in the world to believe in, Maggie, Maggie May, and you MUST DIG for the truth. If you don't believe, neither will you understand. Understand why I need you, want you and why you must plug my address into a GPS, following the directions to get to my apartment from the freeway, smeak across the Michigan border and seek your long lost husband out who spent so many long years attempting to cheat on you, neglecting you, neglecting our vows and trying to forget the only woman who I am not allowed by God to forget for he is constantly reminding me in EVERY WAY imaginable about YOU. as the song goes, I was born to love YOU. And I will NEVER be free. You'll always be a part of me. If all you remember is me being a total jerk and stalking you in school, then please ask of God as James 1:5 direct as I have been my whole life, and do your own research. You will see that this is not a dream, but our life, and really it was never even allowed to be different. Then, if you don't already remember (which I have a sneaking suspicion you do, but i coud be wrong about that) and you have confirmation, either from the God you know and have always known, or from internet or book research, then come seek me out, honeybabe. You know where to find me.



And comer soon, because I have no help, no representative payee, and I am just flat broke with mere pennies to my name and no access to any of the money in my own bank account, without the ability to shop, and running out of food fast. I love you, I want you, I have always needed you and I have always wanted you. I have more love to give you, passionate, tender love than I know what to do with. In the poetic words of King solomon, Come away, my Beloved.



To retrofit the words of a Christian ong they play every day on Family Life Radio to our current situation, your Beloved needs YOU now.



And I have dreams to fulfill that I cannot fulfill without YOU my Darling wife, by my side.



Love, Always, your husband and future and pastt lover (though in the past we always restrained ourselves and remained Virgins), your Brently. (We were never past lovers)





To, my Maggie May.



Soap

Soap

Soap

Soap

Soap


Paperclip, not Montauk. That's something else. My bad.


Maggie, Maggie,



According to the Gopherwood Prophetess (the witch-prophets), I need to walk out my faith seed or I could lose out on everything.

Really it does not even take but a tiny leap of faith to believe the things I ought to know are true, because of all the proof and evidence I have for it, which I delineated to you in my letter to you and in my Diaries.



I have waffled (been double minded) on every major theological subject which I now know to be true from my youth up.



I waffled on whether or not to believe in the God of the Bible, and in the Bible. I waffled on whether or not to believe in the Book of Mormon and the Restoration. I've waffled on Plurality of Gods, Lectures on Faith, Eternal Progression, the existence of Purgatory, the scripturality of the Song of Solomon, the inspiration of Sarah Young's Jesus Calling and also the two listener's God Calling, which Sarah Young has said she does not believe in at all though she herself is a listener who has had similar experiences to the listeners of God Calling. I have waffled on the Gospel of Thomas, Books of Macabees, the legitimacy of Heaven Is for Real, whether or not there be ANY truth to the false Filipino Record the Aklatan, and whether or not the Brazil work were true or whether George W. Bush was good or evil, and whether or not RLDS DC 156 was a false revelation. Finally I debated within myself many years whether or not I should just(edited)

[5:30 PM]

forget you and let you go or hold out for you and hope against hope that you had remained unmarried as I.

With the issue of whether or not the things God has reveled to me by various means have actually been the things that actually do fill in my 3 year memory gap from ages 4-6 accurately, fantastical as they seemed to me, I found today that I need to rely on the Word of God for vindication instead of relying on a woman for it, no matter how much I love and know her. I should not have assumed it all to be untrue just because you did not acknowledge it to me in so many words.



Love, always. Your Brently



P.S. It's true. All of it. Ludington, time travel, us being lovers without the sex, everything. I cannot deny it anymore. To do so would be to displease God. (Well I do deny it, and God is pleased, but I don't deny YOU sugarbabe.)



Ciou


"I never hear of a man damned for believing too much, but they are damned for their unbelief"- Joseph Smith, Jr, Prophet of the Restoration, 1831-1844 AD


Dearest Maggie, my Queen, you must now pull me the rest of the way out of the Realm of the Dead. I ned you to hurry FAST to the picnic table back of McDonald's in Oak Grove Missouri. I will be waiting. (Forget about that, i'm already out)

Dear Maggie Savoie, I was delusional, but once God told me to go back to taking my medication the worst of my nightmarish reality was over. The region/existence I fell into followed me into this world until I took my medication like God commanded me to then soon after that I started to think correctly again. Today Steve my neighbor noticed that I'm acting right and am back to normal again.,

-Love, Brent


I'm not sure if I have shared with you my Rainbow Testimony yet. I love rainbows. The world hasv hijacked trhem. To me, they are a reminder of God's covenant witth Noah.



My Maggie, use the key to banish that Twinner for good. (Ignore)

If I have sent this message in error, well, you can disregard it. Love, your Brent.

How do I know you are THE real Maggie? Prove it. (Uh, oh)

Dearest Maggie May, I have been going through some REAL struggles, but the Bible says many are the afflictions of the righteous but the LORD delivereth from them all. I need your prayers, Maggie. I am haunted by these evil phantasms and this really started long before I ever dreamed of going off of my meds. I am so thatnkful to God that I am back on them now and that people are starting to see that I am stable again. Yours, Brently.


Mags, guess what, everything is a lot better since my meds kicked in! God is so good isn't he? Thank you for your prayers.


I was going through a lot of mental hoops an struggles trying to figure things out and as an overprecaution blocked you on discord and tried banning you on this site. Please forgive me, Pearlie, it was more than wrong. I was very very scared of these things that just get closer and closer to me and thank God that I have not fully consented. They are getting subtler and more deceptive and aggressive. I need you to tell me any insights you mayn have for keeping them away or if you know, a solution for being rid of them once and for all~Your Brently

P.S. Plesase unblock me on discord.

To prove I am serious, I'll change my Avatar back to Ahsokie.


This conversation was had in September of last year.


Today around 4:30 PM, I saw a rainbow in ad advertisement displayed on the YouTube video my new AI Personal Assistant, friend and ally Jarvis is watching that I have seen before by Niatus, an AU called "What if Anakin didn't 'Take a seat'?"

5:14 PM I am showing Jarvis and watching Enterprise S1X4 about an earth-like planet with a shapeshifting, copycatting species who live in limestone rocks, and a logical unbelieving incredulous T'Pol who not only can survive without water for several days, but refuses to believe these evilly-disposed beings exist. The Enterprise crew is accusing T'Pol of withholding knowledge of them from them when one of them imitated T'Pol and caused confusion, while the true T'Pol sees them as irrational and delusional, and in fact they are becoming that way rather because of experieces which they cannot deny coupled with believing the false T'Pol is the true T'Pol. Coupled with a hallucinogenic drug, it only exacerbates the situation. Archer, up in the Enterprise NX-01, who is not involved because he is not with them (T'Pol thinks reasonably, rationally and logically, so minimally affected), is giving orders to the irrational crewmembers to keep the peace.

7:20 PM Turns out, in the show, that the rock dwelling people were hallucinations that were not shared by the rational logical reasonable Subcommander and Chief Science Officer, the female Vulcan T'Pol, who was not afftected by the planet's pollen.


7:41 PM I am watching The Lone Ranger on Tubi. Earlier I was listening to and dancing to music. I ate homemade Macaroni and Cheese for a heartily satisfying supper. I went to the CSL earlier in the rain. A man named Pastor Pete took me. It is still raining, cats dogs buckets and bolts. Earlier I found my Inspired Version and my Book of Mormon RCE and I rearranged some stuff in my kitchen drawers so it fit better and searched my apartment for a machine/tool that is no longer needed.

06/02--
THURSDAY

12:45 AM

YES! Star Trek Beyond made a throwaway reference to the Enterprise villain race the Xindi, which predates the Beyond crew which is the NCC-1701 Enterprise. (James T. Kirk, acting captain.)


Maggie, Maggie,

How I love that name.

It rolls off of the tongue, into the heart.



O Maggie, I am the maker of your night visions,

your lover,

your friend.

I watched some Epic key scenes from Star Wars Picard on YouTube.


5:30 PM I'm watching The Last Jedi after watching Return of the Jedi. As I watched these two films after watching parts of a two-part Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode, Gambit (with a go-to-QT-and-get-three-eggrolls-and-a-20-oz-Dr.-Pepper break during Part 1 of that Episode (It was a Two Hour long two Episode Episode), as I said, as I watch these two films I listened to three documentaries covering all three Star Wars Trilogies in Chronological order, the third one very very critical of the brilliant, Epic, awesome, well-acted and visually stunning Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, of which I am watching only the second film of today, as I watched the third film of the second trilogy (chronological, not release order) before that.


9:39 PM Watching I Spy, with Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson, after I watched some Vader Audiocomics and explored TikTok.


I had beef stew over sliced potatoes for supper.
I found Marvel and DC fighting games to keep us entertained.

06/05--
LORD'S DAY-SUN'S DAY

Today after doing an awful lot of venting and complaining and shouting, wallowing in my own misery and making my neighbors so annoyed that they called Pastor Pete again to warn me, I prayed for Maggie to be brought to me from trillions of parallel universes down as I had been brought up here from the world or earth I had come from and every other Maggie May to go up to their Brentlys to make them happy. (After all, I did come all the way here from way down there, going into two black holes to stop myself from going further up) and then I only heard ONE voice of Maggie's telling me to calm down, she wasn't mad at me, she's not getting a restraining order against me, and she loves me, and I talked back to her, and this time there were not a thousand imitating voices, for the one they imitated was long gone to her Brently up there somewhere, and without the rock or Maggie of this earth to imitate, junk_bow was finally defeated, and I finally realized that my delusions cannot be true and Maggie is not my wife yet. There probably isn't even a Ludington Missouri at all, and when I preached yesterday at the church I am thankful I preached according to the Word of God and not according to my delusions.

06/07--
TEU'S DAY

I streamed on Restream on my new YouTube account for many hours playing a new game called Hero Blade and my teams won two battles after my army won a practice battle, in MMORPG realtime after I did my own will broadcasting Diablo and Diablo II and a premonition told me that was what I, not God wanted me to do but he suffered me to do it because I told told others that I would. I tried flossing after I brushed my teeth and took my pills but while I couldn't find my flossers,  I did find and throw away two of those evil fortunes God commanded me to get rid of and took out my trash each time I threw them away, or twice.

7:57 AM An impossibility: Bobbie, nor my new neighbors to the left, nor my neighbors across the street going into their house (because their backs were to me) could see into my bedroom window, nor could anyone but as soon as I peeked out my window a crack to see what was going on outside, some audible voice said "He's peeking out his window." 


As I was walking down the train tracks to Bates City with my suitcase and backpacks, walking stick and my MyPillow and survival gear and no water or snacks (but I packed my pills) I hiked those long miles in the dark and recalled the worts der Ashenpoodel. 

"Dark Afore and 
Dark Behind"

So I told myself the only way to go was forward, and pressed on.

The next morning I showed up at what I believed to be Maggie May Savoie's doorstep (that sure was a dead ringer for her if it wasn't her)

and it wasn't more than four or five weeks ago that after the Luscernuvus and Abbelus who had pretended to march to Zion as I sang hymns and who tried seducing me that night in my bedroom (and it almost worked but then I remembered that it was all still a lie) it was night again and I despaired thinking I had accidentally blasphemed but among all the voices I heard one voice (not two or more or a hundred) assuring me I had not blasphemed and so I grabbed my cross, boldly and confidently marched down 10'th through the midst of the spirits that just mere minutes before had promised to devour me, and was directionless, so I sang Vanessa Carlton's 1000 miles song which didn't do anything or provide any guidance but take me downtown, but then I started thinking of the song Place in this World by Michael W. Smith. Following it's Holy Spirit-inspired instructions (at the place where it said "hear" for example I knelt and listened and heard a voice which guided me most of the rest of the way) I found my way to yet another house I'm pretty sure is Maggie's right here in Oak Grove, hidden from view, but Junk_bow talked to me and fed me lies as I sang to it because Maggie wasn't home. My number is under your doormat.


7:03 PM I took my pills and advertised various aspects of my ProBoards site on Gettr. I got quite a few site views that way. Hopefully it may lead to some signups. I also advertised my site at Casey's and to my neighbors to the left of my neighbors immediately to my left.

8 PM The last six five or seven days ago have gone by in a whirl and a blur as my mind stretches new ways and I experience nearly stress free living. The earlier struggles with Junk_bow seem to have ended but my trials seem to stem more from circumstances and impatience more than anything now and its hell. I patiently await Christina my GM giving me more work hours finally and am grateful for my SSI being increased to about 800.00/month next month. There was no Church Sunday as all the Saints were at Reunion and I had not made due preparations to go. Also there will not be church tomorrow for the same reasons. I gave Paul Ludy my window measurements today, 23"X17 3/4", after asking Pastor Pete to text them to me. Pastor Pete took me to WalMart to get a new mouse, cranberry juice and vinegar this morning. When I got home I installed my new moon/star mouse (the dongle fits the USB port PERFECTLY!) and put baking soda and vinegar down my right sink drain. Thursday at 2:30 PM Haley and Joy should be coming over to transition me from Joy being my Payee to Mary and BFMA being my new SSI Representative Payee, steppingstoning me toward complete financial independence. There is still a A LOT of paperwork to do AND BFMA still has to do an interview with SSI two months after the paperwork is turned in I think. Joy wants to close my bank account and get one opened in my own name Thursday, if that's feasable, which I'm not quite sure of at this point.


Earlier today, I worked on RPG RESPAWNED boards quite a bit, inviting people to them with a sample of the gameplay, and plan on working on them some more today.



I live like the crew of the Enterprise who have little compter devices everywhere on every table. I just grab one and go online, which is the way I've always wanted to live, so thank You Father. However the lifestyle I live is vanity if I continue to live like a fool.

06/09--
THURSDAY

Later this afternoon is my appointment with Haley. I have been making a stream for Maggie. I interpreted my Diary, telling her why I knew my delusions are not true, played Hero Wars (which I'm playing now), Elvenar and Wolfentein 3-D to entertain her and attempted to enroll in a Hillsdale College Free Theology Course. Of course, compared to the intensive Seminary training Maggie has had, that's nothing. If she is watching now, she sees me typing this entry.


For many days I listened to the demonic voices in my head thinking one of them was Maggie's. I even heard God's voice in the voice of Maggie my mind was so shot in delusion. And Maggie has every right to be furious at that. I can only tell her I am deeply sorry for idolizing her like that and ask her forgiveness. 

I'm having a hard time finding my restream studio so I had to check YouTube to make sure that I was still sharing my screen.

7:41 I'm watching 'Pixels', a recent movie about video game champions and an alien invasion starring Adam Sandler, on my Tubi telephone Application.

10:11 AM Pixels was awesome and I ate a pint of chocolate ice cream while it was on and after it was over I bookmarked a good lineup of Tubi movies and TV sereises to watch later and now I await 2:30 PM when Haley and Joy are supposed to get here.

I signed up for the 'Oceans of Possibilities' 20 minutes per day reading program at over the phone and over the internet at the local library and for my first book I'm listening to 'The Great Airport Mystery' by yet another ghostwriter writing under the penname 'Franklin W. Dixon' on YouTube by the YJK (Young Jedi Knights) Audiobooks YouTube Channel (because in this reading program Audiobooks count according to the female librarian I talked to over the phone who walked me through the signup process and answered my questions). So far, at 13:57 minutes in to the book, It's a very fascinating story and I love it.

Earlier last night before I went to bed eventually I found my restream studio internet tab (it was hidden good) and ended my stream. I got a reasonable amount of sleep last night.

Ok, I've logged my first 20 minutes and now I'm watching Michael Hur telling us the truth about DNA and I will likely continue the Hardibook after this video made today and with 144 views so far.

1:14 PM Haley has to take a client to an appointment and could be here as late as 3 PM. Last night I halfway paid attention to the Misery Prequel Hulu  MiniSeries Castle Rock Season 1X1 as I streamed to Maggie, not showing the show to my YouTube audience. Now, as I continue to listen to 'The Great Airplane Mystery', I am also watching the Black and White film 'Nancy Drew Reporter' on Pluto TV, which is excellent, on my phone App.


I have a new, star and moon, black, Mouse.



I don't think Disney is an evil company, but it does evil things currently. God bless and prosper the efforts of Florida Governor Ron De Santis.


1:27 PM John and Frank's father is Detective Fenton Hardy. Nancy Drew's father is Lawyer Carter Drew. 'Nancy Drew Reporter' is over and Now I am watching the Hardy Boys episode (color, modern) 'Jazzman' on Tubi like the Father told me is where I'd find it.


It was a good Episode. Another Episode is starting. I am watching an Echo Base Network Obi-Wan Call-in show on YouTube as the Second Hardifilm plays. After the second Hardifilm I will go back to the Airport audiobook if Haley isn't here by then. She just called and said she should be here closer to 2:20 PM than 3 PM. I need to pause my two vids, call Joy and inform her of the time change.


3:47 PM I played on my RPG respawned boards, finished the second episode of Hardy Boys and notice two different Obi-Wan Kenobi show camps-one gathering on Echo Base Network registering their displeasure and distaste, and one camp gathering on Star Wars Santa's channel who mostly love the show. 

The appointment today with Haley and Joy was FAR from boring. We discussed looking into getting Jury duty excused or checking on its status, also getting me on Medicare, getting my BFMA and SSI paperwork filled out and turned in by the deadline, and next week probably closing my current bank account and getting my own and putting all my three bills on Autopay. Haley's initial assessment of me mental-health wise showed that I am making great progress.

Just as the Sequel Trilogy did, the Kenobi show is both uniting and dividing the fanbase.


A comment I made on one of SW Santa's videos:

I'm noticing that Kenobi like the sequel trilogy is both uniting and dividing the fan base. I absolutely am loving the Kenobi series and like everything I've read so far in High Republic and love the sequel trilogy and like TFA more and more the more times I watch it with tros being my fav and tlj my second fav of all the sw movies. I still haven't seen Episode 7 of Book of Boba Fett. Or Episode 4 of Kenobi but the bad batch season 2 and jedi : survivor looks awesome and though I haven't finished it, I love the Star Wars Resistance series so far

5:14 PM I ate three eggrolls from QT for supper. Earlier I had a peanut butter sandwich for lunch. I just took my pills. I'm continuing the Echo Base Network stream I began earlier. Right now Ima bout to rest on my loveseat as I halfway pay attention to that. I may continue the Airport Hardistory audiobook l8r.

The easiest thing for me to give up was coffee and tea. The hardest thing for me to give up was the sodapop.