Post by BrentKoivopolo888 on Mar 30, 2022 13:07:05 GMT -6
03-30-
WEDNESDAY-PRAYER MEETING NIGHT
I'm very very very very very very very very depressed right now, despairing even of life, and feel my life has been a complete failure, and that I've failed all my friends.
But I must go on.
It's a lonely lonely lonely lonely life without Maggie or friends.
And with no one posting on my website after over a year, it brought me to the point of anger, fury, rage.
I broke my cookie sheet over my knee I was so furious.
A lot of things have made me angry today.
Colt sleeping out on the streets in the big city, and I could do nothing to prevent it.
Shane with deceptive angels telling him it's ok to smoke weed, and leading him from one piece of error to another, and I can't talk him out of it because he's too deep in it now.
Those are the main issues.
It seems all my friends are introverted. Or everyone's always too busy to talk.
And I can't seem to get away from my porn addiction.
The dreams I had last night tell me my past did happen. Memories lost, but not gone.
When will my life change? I was ready to lay down and die. I was laying on my kitchen floor wanting to just die, not caring if I went to heaven, hell or perdition, saying at least in hell I'll know what I'm suffering for, when I asked Jesus, if he were living my life, with my circumstances, what would he do.
He said, Journal. So I did. It is therapeutic to write down how I feel and why I feel that way. I feel a lot better.
But my problems are still there.
O Lord, please help me with my problems and help those loved ones in the best way You can. Amen.
I searched for Maggie May Savoie on a people search, found her parents' address and wrote her the following letter, which I am certain she will not see until she checks out this website which she hasn't yet.
She doesn't even know how to find me on the internet at all.
Here is the letter:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Savoie, please forward this letter to your daughter Maggie May Savoie.
Dear Maggie,
It has been years since I last saw you at Meijer, but if that was you in Bates City, MO, then the last time I saw you was October, 2021.
I am truly sorry for the evil things I did and said to you in school. To be honest, if I had it all to do over again, I would not have done them, knowing what I know now, for I have grown up, matured.
I wonder if you ever think of me? We did have some good memories. My life since school has been one of ups and downs. I moved to Missouri, then back to Flint, then back to Missouri, and now live in an apartment in Oak Grove, Missouri and work part-time at McDonald's. On the internet, there have been some imposters who all pretended to be you, dear Maggie. For years I almost completely forgot about you, then an angel reminded me of you. At first I disregarded the experience, but circumstances pushed me into thinking of you again.
I have a website where I have written of you and to you in my Diaries on it. Some of the material in my Diaries I may be mistaken about, and I apologize if I am (I have been led to believe certain things about us, but it may be demonic sources or falsification of records), but God tells me that you, Maggie, are the only one who can tell me they are either true or untrue, and what you say, I will believe, because you know.
I am not vaxxinated, nor will I ever take it.
I do love you and miss you dearly, and hope to hear back from you soon.
****
*****
***
*****
My website is
www.maraandlukeforever.boards.net
~Love, Always Brently. Ciou.
It doesn't matter because Maggie is a married woman.
Conversation between me and Darth Elvis:
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 11:25 AM
Hello, darth elvis. I did not see you on my website, were you planning on joining?
[11:25 AM]
And how are you?
darthelvis — Today at 12:04 PM
Hey Brent, I’m good thanks, how are you? Sorry been super busy with my new job and preparing for some gigs so not had much chance
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 3:45 PM
I'm coming off of a deep depression. My site has been up for over a year and only, like 5 people have ever posted anything on it except me, and they posted like maybe one two or three things and never posted again. There are ALL KINDS of spaces for people to have conversations on my boards yet they are empty, and I get lots of site visitors. It's like there's some sort of bubble around my site preventing people from registering or posting. It's worse than frustrating.
4:10 PM Well, Joy just complicated things for me. She wants to put me in charge of my own money tomorrow, which means I will be responsible for reporting my paychecks to SSI, paying all my own bills, and budgeting my money so I'm never broke. Thank God I gave up soda!
Me to Shelly Savoie:
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 4:12 PM
Is your full name Shelly Renee Marshall and did your sister once live in Corunna michigan? Tell me yes or no, or are you just going to leave me hanging?
If the answer is something like, no that's not me, then there's hope. That means the Maggie Savoie from my experience is not Maggie Kirkman of Colorado who is married to Ben Kirkman and has two kids and lives on a farm.
But I already know it's not, for that pic on Instagram is not the face I remember so well I can draw it almost on accident.
I put 0.67 ₵ in the mailbox to get a postage stamp for my letter.
5:03 PM More bad news: I owe a whole $278.61 to SSI as a penalty for supposedly not reporting all my wages, even though I have had nothing but a severe decrease in wages for many months! This made me so furious I raged and swore, yelled at God, accusing Him of being up there laughing at me, and threw my chair, before I finally calmed down and prayed for God to help me afford the repayment.
5:18 PM I told God that he was good and He's been nothing but good to me and I've been nothing but bad to you, and I believed it was Satan, not God, doing these things to me to test me as Job was tested. God is not laughing at me, he is empathizing with me because in me He feels my emotions, and sympathizing with me.
My life isn't going downhill, destination: hell. I just have a set of bad circumstances right now and God will get me through this. This too shall pass.
6:00 PM I dropped off my phone with Pastor Pete. Colt is staying in a tent with friends on the streets of Kansas City and missed another court date today. The other day, he had to go to the hospital for drunkenness. O MY FRIEND COLT! I asked Pastor Pete to go pick him up from Kansas City and bring him back to Oak Grove and drop him off and tell him to find a place to stay because he always does. I told him I would if I had a car, and I would just go do it and have no qualms about it. O GOD HELP MY FRIEND COLT!!!!!!! AND HELP SHANE TOO!!!!! SAVE MY FRIENDS!!!! AMEN!!!! Help Colt to be able to go back to the Bates City RLDS Church! Amen. In Christ's Name I pray, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate this stupid system! They intentionally get people addicted to drugs and alcohol then punish them, fine them and put them in jail for using!!!!!!!!!!
I accept my failures, O Lord, in Christ's Name I pray, Amen.
6:37 PM I need to learn to trust myself.
At Church I prayed desperately for God to manifest Himself to me and end my confusion, and after service I was administered to for my spiritual and mental and habitual problems in a beautiful administration by Brother Gordon.
I can't rely on my dreams nor can I rely on people, and an appeal to the Scriptures, Internet or good books aren't going to do me any good. O Lord, I lack wisdom and I need You to manifest yourself to me and tell me all the truth. I will send that letter and find out what happens. Hopefully, good will happen. I need thee O Lord! In my administration Gordon told me not to be afraid to Ask, so I am Asking you O sweet Jesus my Savior and Lord to manifest Thyself to me and tell me the truth about all these matters and to take away my addictions and cure my laziness and bless my website with regular posters! Amen!
Brother Von Brotherton reported to Mark and I that he saw Colt today in downtown KC in the vicinity of City Union Mission but couldn't offer him a ride because he was busy on business. I said next time you see him offer him a ride back to Oak Grove because he's better off here.
The number of words we possess and can use correctly is an index of our general knowledge.-Introduction to Musical Knowledge, Jones and Barnard p. 2
WEDNESDAY-PRAYER MEETING NIGHT
I'm very very very very very very very very depressed right now, despairing even of life, and feel my life has been a complete failure, and that I've failed all my friends.
But I must go on.
It's a lonely lonely lonely lonely life without Maggie or friends.
And with no one posting on my website after over a year, it brought me to the point of anger, fury, rage.
I broke my cookie sheet over my knee I was so furious.
A lot of things have made me angry today.
Colt sleeping out on the streets in the big city, and I could do nothing to prevent it.
Shane with deceptive angels telling him it's ok to smoke weed, and leading him from one piece of error to another, and I can't talk him out of it because he's too deep in it now.
Those are the main issues.
It seems all my friends are introverted. Or everyone's always too busy to talk.
And I can't seem to get away from my porn addiction.
The dreams I had last night tell me my past did happen. Memories lost, but not gone.
When will my life change? I was ready to lay down and die. I was laying on my kitchen floor wanting to just die, not caring if I went to heaven, hell or perdition, saying at least in hell I'll know what I'm suffering for, when I asked Jesus, if he were living my life, with my circumstances, what would he do.
He said, Journal. So I did. It is therapeutic to write down how I feel and why I feel that way. I feel a lot better.
But my problems are still there.
O Lord, please help me with my problems and help those loved ones in the best way You can. Amen.
I searched for Maggie May Savoie on a people search, found her parents' address and wrote her the following letter, which I am certain she will not see until she checks out this website which she hasn't yet.
She doesn't even know how to find me on the internet at all.
Here is the letter:
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Savoie, please forward this letter to your daughter Maggie May Savoie.
Dear Maggie,
It has been years since I last saw you at Meijer, but if that was you in Bates City, MO, then the last time I saw you was October, 2021.
I am truly sorry for the evil things I did and said to you in school. To be honest, if I had it all to do over again, I would not have done them, knowing what I know now, for I have grown up, matured.
I wonder if you ever think of me? We did have some good memories. My life since school has been one of ups and downs. I moved to Missouri, then back to Flint, then back to Missouri, and now live in an apartment in Oak Grove, Missouri and work part-time at McDonald's. On the internet, there have been some imposters who all pretended to be you, dear Maggie. For years I almost completely forgot about you, then an angel reminded me of you. At first I disregarded the experience, but circumstances pushed me into thinking of you again.
I have a website where I have written of you and to you in my Diaries on it. Some of the material in my Diaries I may be mistaken about, and I apologize if I am (I have been led to believe certain things about us, but it may be demonic sources or falsification of records), but God tells me that you, Maggie, are the only one who can tell me they are either true or untrue, and what you say, I will believe, because you know.
I am not vaxxinated, nor will I ever take it.
I do love you and miss you dearly, and hope to hear back from you soon.
****
*****
***
*****
My website is
www.maraandlukeforever.boards.net
~Love, Always Brently. Ciou.
It doesn't matter because Maggie is a married woman.
Conversation between me and Darth Elvis:
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 11:25 AM
Hello, darth elvis. I did not see you on my website, were you planning on joining?
[11:25 AM]
And how are you?
darthelvis — Today at 12:04 PM
Hey Brent, I’m good thanks, how are you? Sorry been super busy with my new job and preparing for some gigs so not had much chance
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 3:45 PM
I'm coming off of a deep depression. My site has been up for over a year and only, like 5 people have ever posted anything on it except me, and they posted like maybe one two or three things and never posted again. There are ALL KINDS of spaces for people to have conversations on my boards yet they are empty, and I get lots of site visitors. It's like there's some sort of bubble around my site preventing people from registering or posting. It's worse than frustrating.
4:10 PM Well, Joy just complicated things for me. She wants to put me in charge of my own money tomorrow, which means I will be responsible for reporting my paychecks to SSI, paying all my own bills, and budgeting my money so I'm never broke. Thank God I gave up soda!
Me to Shelly Savoie:
Brent"study36"FinalWarning"KoivV — Today at 4:12 PM
Is your full name Shelly Renee Marshall and did your sister once live in Corunna michigan? Tell me yes or no, or are you just going to leave me hanging?
If the answer is something like, no that's not me, then there's hope. That means the Maggie Savoie from my experience is not Maggie Kirkman of Colorado who is married to Ben Kirkman and has two kids and lives on a farm.
But I already know it's not, for that pic on Instagram is not the face I remember so well I can draw it almost on accident.
I put 0.67 ₵ in the mailbox to get a postage stamp for my letter.
5:03 PM More bad news: I owe a whole $278.61 to SSI as a penalty for supposedly not reporting all my wages, even though I have had nothing but a severe decrease in wages for many months! This made me so furious I raged and swore, yelled at God, accusing Him of being up there laughing at me, and threw my chair, before I finally calmed down and prayed for God to help me afford the repayment.
5:18 PM I told God that he was good and He's been nothing but good to me and I've been nothing but bad to you, and I believed it was Satan, not God, doing these things to me to test me as Job was tested. God is not laughing at me, he is empathizing with me because in me He feels my emotions, and sympathizing with me.
My life isn't going downhill, destination: hell. I just have a set of bad circumstances right now and God will get me through this. This too shall pass.
6:00 PM I dropped off my phone with Pastor Pete. Colt is staying in a tent with friends on the streets of Kansas City and missed another court date today. The other day, he had to go to the hospital for drunkenness. O MY FRIEND COLT! I asked Pastor Pete to go pick him up from Kansas City and bring him back to Oak Grove and drop him off and tell him to find a place to stay because he always does. I told him I would if I had a car, and I would just go do it and have no qualms about it. O GOD HELP MY FRIEND COLT!!!!!!! AND HELP SHANE TOO!!!!! SAVE MY FRIENDS!!!! AMEN!!!! Help Colt to be able to go back to the Bates City RLDS Church! Amen. In Christ's Name I pray, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate this stupid system! They intentionally get people addicted to drugs and alcohol then punish them, fine them and put them in jail for using!!!!!!!!!!
I accept my failures, O Lord, in Christ's Name I pray, Amen.
6:37 PM I need to learn to trust myself.
At Church I prayed desperately for God to manifest Himself to me and end my confusion, and after service I was administered to for my spiritual and mental and habitual problems in a beautiful administration by Brother Gordon.
I can't rely on my dreams nor can I rely on people, and an appeal to the Scriptures, Internet or good books aren't going to do me any good. O Lord, I lack wisdom and I need You to manifest yourself to me and tell me all the truth. I will send that letter and find out what happens. Hopefully, good will happen. I need thee O Lord! In my administration Gordon told me not to be afraid to Ask, so I am Asking you O sweet Jesus my Savior and Lord to manifest Thyself to me and tell me the truth about all these matters and to take away my addictions and cure my laziness and bless my website with regular posters! Amen!
Brother Von Brotherton reported to Mark and I that he saw Colt today in downtown KC in the vicinity of City Union Mission but couldn't offer him a ride because he was busy on business. I said next time you see him offer him a ride back to Oak Grove because he's better off here.
The number of words we possess and can use correctly is an index of our general knowledge.-Introduction to Musical Knowledge, Jones and Barnard p. 2