Post by BrentKoivopolo888 on Jul 26, 2021 19:17:35 GMT -6
Rated PG-13 for language, sex humor, and mature themes.
A long time ago in Alabama, er, NuhBOO....
As SpeakPurpandVacParody UNLMTD Logo flashes brilliantly onscreen, followed by the Star Wars HV's LOGO invented by study3600 is shown, we hear MANAKIN, PATME and several CLOWN TROOPS laughing their heads off at God knows what.
EXT. NUHBOO-WOODS-DAY
PADME: I hear they're damming the RooRooKoo River. They're going to flood a whole G****** valley!
MANAKIN: You know I'm not familiar with NuhBOO rivers. What the hell's the RooRooKoo River?
CLONE COMMANDER COODY: Only the most un****ed up river on the whole G****** planet of NuhBOO!
PATME: (Raising eyebrows suggestively at COODY) I like the way you wear that helmet.
COODY: Just wait til Manakin leaves to go gather firewood for us. GRRRRWL!
MANAKIN: Hey, I'm right here, you know!
EXT NUHBOO- MANAKIN and PATME's CADILLAC AND CLONE BUICK ESCORT CARS-DAY
MANAKIN: Hey, we can have ourselves a nice little canoe trip on the river. We can leave Friday night and be back in time for Monday Night Robot Football.
CLONE COMMANDER REEKS: Why the hell should you f*** with that river? You should get insurance first.
MANAKIN: I don't believe in insurance. It's not dangerous enough.
PATME: I've been insured since I was Queen of NuhBOO! Full term life insurance from Prudential, and Medishare of course, because I don't like to be forced to buy social services from ANY government.
MANAKIN: Naw, Baby, you should have gotten Obamacare. After all, we're required by law to by speeder insurance, why not health insurance?
PATME: I don't think you understand the point, dear. When it comes to politics, your more of a Machiaveli than a George washington.
MANAKIN: Well, it would help if I knew who in the hell those people WERE....
MANAKIN: (Calls out to CLONE COMMANDER REEKS) Hey, could you lend us your Buicks for this canoe trip?
CLONE COMMANDER REEKS: We're going with you. I haven't been on a canoe trip in well, ever. I'm a clone. I was raised in a cloning facility on Kablingo. There's not really much in life I've ever DONE except fight, watch people die and screw your wife.
MANAKIN: Coody, Could you loan me 10 bucks so I can front it as the first part of the 30 needed to finance this trip?
EXT NUHBOO-REALLY BEAUTIFUL DUELING BANJO INTERLUDE-DAY
MANAKIN and PATME get out their BANJOS and play them for 10 minutes. The audience sways to the Divine music.
EXT NUHBOO-ROOROOKOO RIVER-CANOE RIDE-DAY
REEKS: Get your life vests on.
MANAKIN: That's not dangerous enough.
PATME: I swear, Manakin, it's a wonder you've survived as long as you have in this Galaxy with 0 common sense.
The CANOE PARTY paddles and come to some BIG RAPIDS.
PATME: Now if we all work together, we can take these rapids easy.
MANAKIN: Ooo, pretty white water!
COODY: Pretty deadly if you ask me!
The PARTY maneuvers through the RAPIDS and they travel on.
EXT NUBOO-WOODS-CAMP-NIGHT
MANAKIN plays his BANJO.
MANAKIN: I couldn't ask for more from this solitary life, lots of hot sex while I'm alive and hell when I die.
REEKS: I'm being eaten alive! The bites on my bites have bites.
EXT NUHBOO-CANOE RIDE-DAY
MANAKIN: We're on top of the world and NOTHING can go wrong!!! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!
PATME: (Rolls eyes) You ain't no Jack and I sure as hell's no Rose.
EXT-NUHBOO-WOODS-DAY
REEKS uses his bow and arrow to attempt to hunt a deer.
COODY: Do you hear something, or someone?
SUDDENLY some LOCAL YOKELS step out of the woods.
LARRY: Where y'all headed?
MANAKIN: To Beymax, at the end of the river.
LARRY: This river don't go to Beymax. You're on the wrong river.
MANAKIN: Well, it must come out somewhere, right?
Whack
PATME: You stupid excuse for a husband! Every river comes out somewhere!
REEKS: We'll be leaving now....
FRANKEL: You ain't goin' nowhere. Thast's a might pretty woman he's got there, ain't that's right LARRY.
MANAKIN: Over my dead body! You don't want to mess with my wife! I'm a Jedi Paddleone and I'll shove my saber so deep up your a** it'll come out your nose.
FRANKEL: Is that a threat?
MANAKIN: That's a f*****' promise!
FRANKEL points his 12-gage shotgun at MANAKIN'S head.
FRANKEL: Now the only thing I require is that your purdy litle wife-
REEKS shoots him dead with his BLASTER, and MANAKIN, takes out his BRIGHTSABRE and cuts LARRY in half.
MANAKIN: Normally I'd say this was a matter of the law, but this is the Star Wars Galaxy where people kill one another without consequence on a daily basis. Let's get the hell out of here, guys.
EXT NUHBOO- CANOE TRIP-ROOROOKOO RIVER-DAY
They come to Beymax at the end of the river and see a Church.
PATME: I'm going inside to thank God for deliverance.
MANAKIN: Suit yourself, baby, I think I'll wait outside and practice my saber techniques.
INT-NUHBOO-BEYMAX-BIG RESTAURANT-DAY
WOMAN: I saved you a seat, Commander Reeks.
They all eat.
MANAKIN: Please pass the corn, COODY.
CAMEO PALPITATINE: Would you like some peas?
THE END
A SPEAKVACANDPURPPARODY PRODUCTION
Written by Anakin77 aka study3600
Finis
A long time ago in Alabama, er, NuhBOO....
As SpeakPurpandVacParody UNLMTD Logo flashes brilliantly onscreen, followed by the Star Wars HV's LOGO invented by study3600 is shown, we hear MANAKIN, PATME and several CLOWN TROOPS laughing their heads off at God knows what.
EXT. NUHBOO-WOODS-DAY
PADME: I hear they're damming the RooRooKoo River. They're going to flood a whole G****** valley!
MANAKIN: You know I'm not familiar with NuhBOO rivers. What the hell's the RooRooKoo River?
CLONE COMMANDER COODY: Only the most un****ed up river on the whole G****** planet of NuhBOO!
PATME: (Raising eyebrows suggestively at COODY) I like the way you wear that helmet.
COODY: Just wait til Manakin leaves to go gather firewood for us. GRRRRWL!
MANAKIN: Hey, I'm right here, you know!
EXT NUHBOO- MANAKIN and PATME's CADILLAC AND CLONE BUICK ESCORT CARS-DAY
MANAKIN: Hey, we can have ourselves a nice little canoe trip on the river. We can leave Friday night and be back in time for Monday Night Robot Football.
CLONE COMMANDER REEKS: Why the hell should you f*** with that river? You should get insurance first.
MANAKIN: I don't believe in insurance. It's not dangerous enough.
PATME: I've been insured since I was Queen of NuhBOO! Full term life insurance from Prudential, and Medishare of course, because I don't like to be forced to buy social services from ANY government.
MANAKIN: Naw, Baby, you should have gotten Obamacare. After all, we're required by law to by speeder insurance, why not health insurance?
PATME: I don't think you understand the point, dear. When it comes to politics, your more of a Machiaveli than a George washington.
MANAKIN: Well, it would help if I knew who in the hell those people WERE....
MANAKIN: (Calls out to CLONE COMMANDER REEKS) Hey, could you lend us your Buicks for this canoe trip?
CLONE COMMANDER REEKS: We're going with you. I haven't been on a canoe trip in well, ever. I'm a clone. I was raised in a cloning facility on Kablingo. There's not really much in life I've ever DONE except fight, watch people die and screw your wife.
MANAKIN: Coody, Could you loan me 10 bucks so I can front it as the first part of the 30 needed to finance this trip?
EXT NUHBOO-REALLY BEAUTIFUL DUELING BANJO INTERLUDE-DAY
MANAKIN and PATME get out their BANJOS and play them for 10 minutes. The audience sways to the Divine music.
EXT NUHBOO-ROOROOKOO RIVER-CANOE RIDE-DAY
REEKS: Get your life vests on.
MANAKIN: That's not dangerous enough.
PATME: I swear, Manakin, it's a wonder you've survived as long as you have in this Galaxy with 0 common sense.
The CANOE PARTY paddles and come to some BIG RAPIDS.
PATME: Now if we all work together, we can take these rapids easy.
MANAKIN: Ooo, pretty white water!
COODY: Pretty deadly if you ask me!
The PARTY maneuvers through the RAPIDS and they travel on.
EXT NUBOO-WOODS-CAMP-NIGHT
MANAKIN plays his BANJO.
MANAKIN: I couldn't ask for more from this solitary life, lots of hot sex while I'm alive and hell when I die.
REEKS: I'm being eaten alive! The bites on my bites have bites.
EXT NUHBOO-CANOE RIDE-DAY
MANAKIN: We're on top of the world and NOTHING can go wrong!!! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!!
PATME: (Rolls eyes) You ain't no Jack and I sure as hell's no Rose.
EXT-NUHBOO-WOODS-DAY
REEKS uses his bow and arrow to attempt to hunt a deer.
COODY: Do you hear something, or someone?
SUDDENLY some LOCAL YOKELS step out of the woods.
LARRY: Where y'all headed?
MANAKIN: To Beymax, at the end of the river.
LARRY: This river don't go to Beymax. You're on the wrong river.
MANAKIN: Well, it must come out somewhere, right?
Whack
PATME: You stupid excuse for a husband! Every river comes out somewhere!
REEKS: We'll be leaving now....
FRANKEL: You ain't goin' nowhere. Thast's a might pretty woman he's got there, ain't that's right LARRY.
MANAKIN: Over my dead body! You don't want to mess with my wife! I'm a Jedi Paddleone and I'll shove my saber so deep up your a** it'll come out your nose.
FRANKEL: Is that a threat?
MANAKIN: That's a f*****' promise!
FRANKEL points his 12-gage shotgun at MANAKIN'S head.
FRANKEL: Now the only thing I require is that your purdy litle wife-
REEKS shoots him dead with his BLASTER, and MANAKIN, takes out his BRIGHTSABRE and cuts LARRY in half.
MANAKIN: Normally I'd say this was a matter of the law, but this is the Star Wars Galaxy where people kill one another without consequence on a daily basis. Let's get the hell out of here, guys.
EXT NUHBOO- CANOE TRIP-ROOROOKOO RIVER-DAY
They come to Beymax at the end of the river and see a Church.
PATME: I'm going inside to thank God for deliverance.
MANAKIN: Suit yourself, baby, I think I'll wait outside and practice my saber techniques.
INT-NUHBOO-BEYMAX-BIG RESTAURANT-DAY
WOMAN: I saved you a seat, Commander Reeks.
They all eat.
MANAKIN: Please pass the corn, COODY.
CAMEO PALPITATINE: Would you like some peas?
THE END
A SPEAKVACANDPURPPARODY PRODUCTION
Written by Anakin77 aka study3600
Finis